Should Have Swiped Left™
Funny tales of disastrous dates.
(the pub version, not the police report)He described his ex as “psycho” four times before the starters arrived. I made it to the mains out of politeness.
Submitted anonymouslyIs This You?
Dating mishaps and near disasters are part of modern life. By anonymously sharing your stories, you’ll bring a smile to people’s faces, teach them a few warning signs, and maybe make them realise they aren’t on their own.
You’ll probably fit right in
- You’ve got a dating story your mates still bring up at the pub
- You’ve spotted a red flag and ignored it anyway
- You’ve been on a date so bad you texted your best mate from the loo
- You’ve always thought “this story should be in a book.” Now it could well be.
This probably isn’t the place
- Your story involves abuse, harassment, or genuine trauma
- You want to name and shame someone publicly (we anonymise everything)
- You’re looking for sympathy, not laughter
- You’re here to promote yourself or sell something
Neurodivergent? We see you.
Dating hits different when you’re neurodivergent. Think:
- Spotting bullshit before they’ve even sat down
- Oversharing on date one, two, and three
- Hyperfocusing on something random while they’re still talking
- Your brain saying “nope” and you can’t explain why
Sound familiar? The book will have a dedicated chapter on neurodiversity dating experiences.
Submit Your StoryRecent Stories
Every story below has been anonymised and lightly edited. Placeholder tales shown here, swap in real approved submissions.
No stories in this category yet. Check back soon, or be the first to submit one.
His profile said he was 5’11 and worked in finance. He turned up in muddy trainers, said he’d “always rounded up a bit,” and then spent most of the date explaining an NFT project he swore was “basically guaranteed.” When the bill came he suggested we split it fifty-fifty even though he’d had three cocktails and I’d had tap water. I said yes because I didn’t want the confrontation, then went home and blocked him before I’d even taken my coat off. My flatmate still brings up “NFT guy” whenever anyone mentions crypto.
He sent “hey beautiful, missed you today” ten minutes into our first ever date. I was sat across from him. He’d sent it to the wrong chat.
Three dates in, everything was going well. Then nothing. No reply, no explanation, just silence. Found out months later he’d started seeing someone from the same group of friends.
He spent the first twenty minutes telling me every reason his last relationship ended and none of them were his fault. I should have left after the first one.
I talked for twenty minutes straight about a documentary I’d watched the night before and only realised when he gently asked if I wanted to know anything about him.
He turned up five minutes early with a book he thought I’d like, based on something I’d mentioned in a single message days earlier. He asked good questions and actually listened to the answers. He didn’t touch his phone once. He paid without making a thing of it, then asked if it was okay to text the next day instead of that same night so it didn’t feel rushed. I sat in the taxi home convinced I’d imagined the whole evening, because nothing about it matched anything I’d experienced on this app before. Still figuring out if that’s a good sign or if I’ve just forgotten what normal looks like.
That’s the lot for now. Pending stories join this feed once they clear moderation.
Add Your StoryWhat We’re Looking For
This sets the tone for what belongs here. Have a quick read before you write yours.
Stories you’d tell over a pint. Awkward silences, wrong person showing up, terrible chat-up lines, profile pics that lied, dates that ended before the starter arrived.
Abuse, assault, harassment, financial ruin, mental health crises, or anything that could identify someone else without their consent.
If you wouldn’t tell it to a stranger at a wedding after two glasses of wine, it probably doesn’t belong here.
Change names, locations, and any identifying details. We reserve the right to edit for clarity, length, and tone.
This is your true story (embellishments for comedy are fine); you have the right to share it, and we can publish it on the site and in any future print or digital compilation.
Where This Came From
The two creators of this site met after 15 years of each using dating apps with varying degrees of success. They soon realised that between them they had some interesting stories to tell of first-date mishaps and near disasters, and that they were probably worthy of being in a book.
An idea was born. There were probably more people out there like them who might like to tell their funny stories too. So join the community, submit yours, and it could end up in a book, on a podcast, or online.
Submit Your Story